I’ve been looking down, around ’round ’round
for a mighty, mighty place where nobody puts nobody down
Where angels are like shoes, you can spit to see them shine
Everybody has an uncle akin to Robert Quine
The fat-hearted ladies are running up the score
Nobody’s trying to barricade the door
Mario is President with a turtle and a twin
The Gong Show is televised and so is Gunga Din
Where every little girl never heard life is hard
Nobody’s nothing brings the boyz to the yard
A halo on the haze of every addled boy
Who didn’t know Madonna when she was a toy
Envy is unusable, a charlatan, a Cher
Charles Nelson Reilly marries Fred Astaire
Nobody has to live inside a Mason jar
Nobody has to fall in love … they already are
The Animal Crackers don’t live at the zoo
They live among me, they live among you
I wonder if it is the proper thing to do
to break’m up, break’m up and then begin to chew?
Nobody’s pigeon-toed, nobody calls nobody “pet”
People think you’re Latin when you say “regret”
Everybody has a crow for a lover and a friend
Nobody has a heart or bone that’s ever on the mend
I’ve been looking down, around ’round round
for a mighty, mighty place where nobody puts nobody down
Where angels are like shoes, you can spit to see them shine
Everybody has an uncle akin to Robert Quine
The Animal Crackers don’t live at the zoo
They live among me, they live among you
I wonder if it is the proper thing to do
to break’m up, break’m up and then begin to chew?
Pair’m up, tear’m up, make’m into glue?
Shut’m up, cut’m up and make’m in to stew?
Scare’m out, wear’m out, take’m to the zoo?
Or are the Animal Crackers you and me, too?